Self-help material on searching for love successfully   

I have read many self-help books, listened to hundreds of CDs and mp3s, watched several videos on searching for love, on relationships and everything about love I could find.  A great deal, though it made perfect sense to me at the time, simply vanished from my brain the moment I stepped out of the house.  My longings were the same and my love search progress was minimal.  I was still trying to change my surrogate boyfriend;  I was still searching for love in the wrong places and getting very 'stuck' whilst doing so.    

I would say, that, if you can, a good therapist or counselor will be most useful to find out what triggers you to make the same mistakes over and over, for example, and guide you to self-love, self-respect and, above all, towards taking care of yourself, which is absolutely the most important concept to understand, assimilate and act upon.  If you do not follow anything else, you can dramatically improve your chances to find true love and happiness by learning to take care of yourself.  It's a concept which I don't think is well understood, and I'll explain it as best as I can on the page titled 'N. 1 Rule'. 

However, there are some audio tools I found helpful in many ways, as well as a few of books.  I will add to the list below as time goes by, but for now here's what I would recommend if you wanted to listened to/ read something useful on the subject of searching for love and relationships.  If you don't like to read (but it's an activity that should not be overlooked, it's great for  your brain at the very least!), just skip to the audio section.  

Books.  I found that that there is no 'bible' which holds your hand and take you through from step 1 to the final step of love enlightenment.  That's why I felt I had to read and listen to so much material, and gradually create my own 'manual', after assimilating what I felt was the best from each or, at least, what I found most useful to my situation.  There are so many books out there which could undoubtedly tell you something very useful.  My recommendations are from my own experience and the list will undoubtedly expand or even be amended in the future.  For now: 

1 - The Truth about Love, by Pat Love.  The title speaks for itself.  This book was given to me by a counsellor I was seeing at the time.  I never read a page of it until much later on, and as I finally started to read it, I found it very useful.  It's particularly useful if you are in a relationship and you need to identify where your emotions are currently, to diagnose them, even.  It explains the various stages of a relationship and I would certainly recommend you learn what those are at some point, even together with your boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse.  It is so much better when you know already that certain emotions will fade, for example, and why, rather than just be surprised by the change, or disappointed, even, or lost.  It's also useful if you are experiencing some challenges in your current relationship, in which case I would definitely recommend reading it together with your partner/spouse.  

2 - Anthony Robbins.  A motivational author who has written on all main subject areas of life and love.  If I were you, I'd go through the list (you can find it on his own website) and pick the subject/s I would be mostly interested in now.  This way you could decide if his style works for you.  I truly found him inspirational, especially on the subject of overall success in life.  Some time ago I followed his practical guide step by step and, in only a few weeks, I witnessed practical results in all areas of my life.  

3 - The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey.  This book is really helpful on how to be successful in all areas of life, but there are enough sections which focus on  relationships and how to create more successful ones.  I sometimes re-read it, focusing on the sections I need to 'refresh' at the time, and it's just more and more enlightening.  It's an engaging book, though, so it's not something to just glance through whilst watching TV! 

4 - 'Women who love too much' and 'Daily Meditations for Women who love too much' by Robin Norwood.  You guessed it.  This is mostly for women, though anybody can derive good lessons from these books.  It's very good if you are in an abusive relationship, or in a relationship where you feel you are 'giving' more than you are 'receiving'.  But it's useful all around if you are in a painful relationship or have found yourself in a chain of painful relationships.

5 - How to be an Adult, by David Richo.  A small book, useful throughout; its second part focuses on relationships issues and includes topics such as 'fear of abandonment', establishing healthy boundaries with your partner/spouse, self-esteem, and so forth. 

6 - Deepak Chopra.  He is an author who is mostly suitable for those wanting to add a 'spiritual' angle to his/her own searching for love.  I love Deepak Chopra.  You can see a list of his books (which are very easy to read) and choose the topic you find most appropriate to you.  If you happen to watch him interviewed on TV, take the opportunity to listen to him and decide if his style, his particular 'angle' is for you.   I love his style, but it's purely a personal choice.  It adds spirituality to my whole oulook on life, prosperity, success and, of course, love. 

Audio/mp3s   

In my experience so far I found that all mp3 materials by the following authors are very helpful. 

1 - Anthony Robbins (absolutely everything by him is, in my opinion, excellent, including all his subliminal audio material).  To this date I often listen to his subliminal mp3s.  Very useful about relationships and very, very useful as an overall guide to a more successful, happier life.  I love his practical steps, which are very powerful.  No 'psychobabble' here!

2 - Deepak Chopra (a more 'spiritual' angle, also very good for meditation; his guidance is, in my opinion, towards searching for 'higher' love towards yourself, your life and 'the other').

3 - Wayne Dyer (offering a mix of spiritual and practical).

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