Get Your Ex Back – What to do and What Not to do.  

You don’t need to suffer. You can get your ex back if you apply this simple but very effective strategy: your wife, husband or lover will soon want a second chance with you and want you back!  

If your loved one has left you or is about to leave you, you will probably be panicking or just feel depressed. Either state is not good if you want them back. Follow these steps instead to make sure your ex comes back to you with love and interest for you the way it used to be a long time ago.

The way you get him back is made of two stages.  The first consists of what not to do and the second stage is all about what you must do. 

1.     What NOT to do.  It may sound hard but it’s the first, essential step.  You must absolutely avoid panicking, despairing, crying, anger, resentment and any negative feeling you may understandably be tempted to show.  You should really avoid feeling those emotions completely (negative feelings usually lead to negative or even destructive actions) but, at the very least, you must avoid showing them to the outside and definitely to your ex.  Why?  Because no matter what you may be tempted to think, your ex is now seeing you as un-worthy of his/her love: if you beg, or become angered or even plead with your ex, you will only confirm, even at subconscious level, that he/she is right in thinking ‘lowly’ of you.  Instead, you must raise your chin high, be dignified, courteous, kind, but always self-respecting and, above all, show your best side.  This will surprise your ex (who, at this point, is ready to see only the worst of you) and, even if only subconsciously, make him/her wonder whether they made the wrong decision.  If your ex is expecting a heart-felt apology go ahead and apologize but, after that, interrupt all communication if at all possible.  If you have children together and you need to discuss the children, make any exchange short and sweet, as if you were meeting or greeting a stranger whom you like but do not know.  Nothing but short, brief pleasantries.  The less your ex sees you the more he’ll have time to remember all those good things about you.  It’s a simple psychological process we all go through and, if you manage to ‘hook up’ with your ex at that peak moment 'down sweet memory lane', he or she will be yours all over again.

Never appear as if you have not accepted your ex’s decision to break up with you. It will make your ex think you are a reasonable person, a balanced, calm individual and, above all, it’ll allow you to ‘buy’ your time until your ex has overcome, psychologically speaking, the phase in which all they think about is how awful you are. Within a period which ranges from a few weeks to a few months, your ex wife, your ex husband, your ex boyfriend or your ex girlfriend will reconnect with good memories of you and, at the same time, all the recent negativity between you two will have faded significantly. 

At some point they will start to miss you; even if they frantically start dating again, they will always compare, consciously or not, his current love interest with you and, if you have played your cards right, the comparison will be in your favour.

2. What you MUST do.  

During the period of ‘distance’ and ‘detachment’, above described, you must take this opportunity to reconnect with the person you really are. Every relationship, even the best one, requires some changes in one’s identity in order to live better as a team; in other words, every relationship requires that the individual identity sometimes sacrifices itself for the benefit of the pair. However, ironically, it is often that individual identity at the beginning which made your ex fall in love with you in the past; this is therefore time to find yourself all over again, whether as the person you used to be or as the person you can be today, with new experiences and new dreams about your life. Our real identity is the one which would reign if we believed we could be anything we wanted in life, and fulfil any dream we had; this identity, which has magical aspects and, because it is fresh, dream-like, full of life and hope, it is extremely alluring to anybody who may cross their path with yours. Thus, stop living in a box of fears, worries, concerns and limitations and start living your life in the fresh, magical, youthful ways you used to live it before mortgages, debts, depressing or oppressive jobs and many other practical problems took over.

How to achieve this?  It’s easier than you think.  At least 2 hours a day you must dedicate them to yourself, your body and your mind.  Choose your favourite physical activity (walking, swimming, cycling, anything at all which raises your heart beat and which you can do for at least one hour a day) and exercise it every day.  This will not only be healthy for your body but will also trigger a variety of ‘happy’ hormones which will, in turn make you look and feel young and vigorous.  Then, the other hour, dedicate it to your mind:  some people meditate, others to go support groups, others go to therapy, others read self-help books, and so on.  These two daily tasks will help you reconnect with the best of yourself, the fabulous person you can be.  At the same time, as you focus on yourself, the pain of the break-up will lessen.  I will guarantee you that, once you have found your identity again, become fresh, vibrant, happy and hopeful, your ex will notice it immediately and will want to see you again, with many excuses.  They will feel that old sparkle they used to feel for you when you two initially met.  They will remember what it is that made them fall in love with you in the past.

There are POWERFUL LOVE TECHNIQUES that, at the right stage in your strategy, will make him/her fall in love with you all over again.

At the same time, as you date all over again, remember the strategies you will always need to apply in order to KEEP THE PASSION in your relationship.