Searching for Love?      

                                                                                                    

   How to find true love ...

  ... And laugh at our mistakes in the process!

Must-read article 

 

Online Dating while searching for love?    

Part 2 

Personally, if someone can't be bothered to write in detail about himself/herself, and just scribbles a few meaningless lines badly written, this person is not worth pursuing no matter how sexy he/she looks on a photograph. Similarly, if someone can't seem to put together intelligent, open and communicative emails for you, they're not, in my opinion, searching for 'meaningful' love.

If they can't be bothered to open up and expose who they are and what they are looking for, well, they're rather superficial or afraid of openness, or just mere lazy. Either way, not a great catch, right? So... next!

At the same time, if they don't publish a few photos of themselves, well, forget it, I say. Are they so, so hideous that they can't show themselves? Or are they so private? Beware of those who say 'oh, well, I hold such a top job that I cannot risk being found on this dating site, bla bla bla...'. Who are they kidding? Don't go on a dating site, I say, if you are so afraid of being 'spotted'! If you really want to give those 'hide and seekers' a second chance, namely if they approach you and you want to reply, just ask them to send you a link to their website (or their profile on facebook, myspace and similar) with recent photos of themselves.

Don't fall into the time-consuming trap of giving them your email address so that they can send you their photo! In my opinion it's a trick to obtain your email address and, believe me, even after you've said 'no, thank you' they'll pester you to no end!

I don't want to sound callous. But there are a number of people whose goal seem to be that of wasting your time. Avoid them!

If you are serious about searching for love through online dating, you must avoid those who insist you must go for coffee immediately, without even trying to get to know you first, at least a little. Their excuse is that they need to verify if there's physical chemistry before pursuing this any further. Well, your answer could be that your time is precious and you don't want to spend the next ten years glued to Blenz Coffee's floors (or Starbucks') meeting a very long chain of unknowns for the first time. Chances are that you have nothing in common and the meeting will be awkward. Even if you both fancy each others' photos, well, what on earth do you know about each other to decide it's a good match? In the rare circumstance in which you two seem to truly 'hit it off', well, read my page on 'falling in love' anyway, it may just save you time and perhaps spare you from a useless* ' relationship.

 Hopefully the following tip is obvious to you all: do NOT meet the guy/girl for the first time (and second time, etc) in a secluded place or in his/her apartment! Come on! You do not know, really, enough about him/her to risk your life! And, even if, let's say, you end up having passionate sex on the first night at his/her place (or yours), and luckily he/she seems 'sane', why on earth would you want to invest so much of your emotional and physical self into someone you don't really know yet? Are you searching for love or are you just looking for a fix? Read my page on 'falling in love' if you think you're following this path or are about to.

    Learn body language signs of attraction: read here.

 Do you often fall in and out of love? Read here.

 Long-Distance Love? Learn to make it work here.

  Do you really know your loved one? What you must absolutely know to make your relatioship work. Click here.

 * useless - by this word I mean NOT contributing to your life and well-being, to your physical, mental, emotional or spiritual flourishing. Or, not providing the necessary emotional comfort that allows you to grow and flourish.  If you find too many 'useless' individuals in your love search history, I would recommend that you revisit your outlook.  It may be good to read here.

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